By Stuti Gandhi
Sr. Director Brand & Communication, GGS

Saying no is generally perceived as being negative and refusal can have medium to serious consequences for both parties, leading to conflict, hurting sentiments, damaging a relationship and in extreme situations, can also lead to social ostracism. Saying no at the workplace may have even more grave ramifications, especially when you are the employee saying no to the boss; you are at risk of losing your job or position, or an opportunity for growth, or that increment you deserved, but not saying no has its share of downsides; it may lead to burnout, breakdown, bitterness and stress at work. You feel like you are in a minefield that is waiting to explode, or suffocated with the invasion into your private space.

Navigating through the minefield and boundary resetting

So does that mean we cannot or should not say no at our workplace? Absolutely not! The institution you work for is not a minefield, it is an extended fraternity with whom you spend as much time as with your own family; you just need to know how to navigate through it, while being mindful of your pluses and minuses and respectful of those of your co-workers.

Boundaries are not static; they shift and transform as we grow and experience new phases in life. Our mindset evolves over time as well. Enjoying a movie with your teenager, a retreat amidst the serene hills with your partner is what one may yearn for more now as compared to slogging late at work in your earlier avatar. Adapting our boundaries to align with our evolving priorities is essential for our well-being and happiness. As we recognize the constant nature of change, we become more attuned to the shifting landscape of our lives, allowing us to make mindful decisions and find balance in the pursuit of our personal and professional aspirations.

How do we do this?

At the workplace, there is a strong need to stay focused on our values and clearly state our priorities, communicate them to others and perhaps redefine relationships to ensure everyone has realistic expectations.

• Take a deep breath and reflect. Is it truly something you cannot do? All work does not have to follow the FIFO principle of First in – First out, so reconsider, reevaluate, and reprioritize, as needed.
• Assess the matter. Maybe you truly are the best person to do this. Feel happy about it; but you have other priorities. If that’s the case, consider plausible possibilities. Can you request someone else to take on your work and you focus on this one? Can you negotiate timelines to do this new assignment coming your way, or the previous one? If you are the best person to do one or both, there is a high chance that your workplace will be open to your ideas and will accommodate them.
• Perhaps seeking support to complete the assignment may be an option. Explore possible routes before deciding to say no.

You have tried your best to accommodate, but nothing seems possible, and you have to regret it. Go ahead. Only those who know who they are can say no with grace. Remind yourself of what Paulo Coelho said – “When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.”

• Go ahead and communicate your thoughts clearly.
• You are not making excuses. Be authentic.
• Refer a person you think can do justice to the work. Your workplace will value you going this extra mile.
• Ditch the guilt and be realistic. We don’t realize this often and it may not happen straightaway, but eventually, people do value righteousness. You may just have earned some brownie points for your next raise by being upfront!

Conclusion

Saying no is an essential aptitude that everyone needs to own and practice to maintain healthy relationships and boundaries. It’s a step in self-care; if you can learn this art, your physical, mental and emotional well-being will feed you with the power to stay sane and resilience to forge healthy relationships with those around you at the workplace, and they will respect you for your uprightness and trust you to say yes only when you can take it on and deliver. Above all, keep reminded that saying no is not just an authority you exercise; it is your responsibility too. You will be doing wrong to the person you say yes to, if you know all along that you should have said no.

No is the new yes. It’s a game-changer; from a long-term perspective, it will protect you from stress and empower you as a respected human being with limits, needs, and mental health to take care of.